Last night I lay awake, turning over the various thoughts and frustrations of the day. I've had almost two weeks off from work at school and am feeling like there is more and more work at home than I care to face.. But nonetheless, at some point I have to face it. There's a part of me, each month, that considers what to do about going back to school -- I'd like to pursue a Ph.D., but I am at a point in my family life, that I can't see adding one more thing on to my plate. Just to satisfy my longing, I do things to torture myself, like read the UChicago magazine or go online to to look at the various programs that are around. My reality is such that I should just pour myself into the work I do and be satisfied. There's plenty of it, for sure. I wrote yesterday to a friend and colleague that I am much better at helping others manage their academic lives and make task and time decisions than I am at helping myself.
I need a plan for the day, for the month for the year. This week -- the final days of 2011, can I resolve to put my MKA work into a box with an 8 hour boundary? to give myself the 1-2 hours a day to explore and write and edit my own professional life? to commit 2-3 hours a day to the household and my family obligations? to allow time for exercise and reading and enjoying the life for which I should be grateful -- my boys? I'm up to 11 hours already, leaving 2-4 more for the humdrum activities of transport and downtime.
New resolve -- 7:45 to 4:30 at school; set up the day first thing in the morning and communicate via email according to priorities. Sounds easy... not so much, I know from experience.
The variables over which I have little control -- moods, delays, distractions (okay, I have some control over that) and what I forget to communicate.
Trial run this week -- up by 6:00... push it to 5 next week as we head back to school.
3 repositories for "reminders and lists" -- iCal on the computer; paper calendar notebook; and the post-it list that sits on my laptop
I'll use the timer to do email in the a.m. -- 30 minutes; after writing for 15-30 minutes
Before "closing out the day" I'll preview the next day, check the calendar and create the list -- all this in an attempt to reign in some control, keep an eye on my priorities and realize some goals for 2012. This week I'll have to figure out what they are.
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